Regulate your nervous system to make big decisions

In my practice as a trauma-informed psychotherapist, I frequently work with clients who are struggling to make decisions. 

“Should I quit my job and look for a new career path?”

“Should I leave my husband/wife?”

“Am I on the right track in life?”

Making big decisions can be daunting. Our nervous system plays a crucial role in this process.
When our nervous systems are dysregulated, it can feel like you are going in mental loops. You might find yourself thinking through the same problem over and over again, only to get stuck. You might start feeling brain fog, fatigue, and early signs of burnout. Chronic stress and anxiety disrupt your nervous system, leading to poor decision-making.

When the nervous system is balanced, we think more clearly. This balance helps us make better choices.

Nervous system regulation is key to maintaining this balance. It involves techniques that calm and focus the mind.

Somatic therapy is one approach to achieve this. It connects the mind and body for healing.
In this article, I’ll explore how you can start to regulate your nervous system, and develop practical strategies for decision making, drawing on somatic therapy and modern neuroscience.

Understanding the Nervous System and Its Role in Decision-Making

The nervous system is a complex network. It connects the brain with the rest of the body. It helps regulate bodily functions and responses to external stimuli.
Key components of the nervous system include:

• Central Nervous System (CNS): Comprised of the brain and spinal cord.
• Peripheral Nervous System (PNS): Includes all nerves outside the CNS.
• Autonomic Nervous System (ANS): Manages involuntary actions.

The ANS is vital for decision-making. It consists of two branches: the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems. Balance between these systems is crucial.

The sympathetic system activates during stressful situations. It triggers the fight-or-flight response, also known as being “on”. When the sympathetic nervous system is activated, you might notice:

• An increased heart rate: your body is preparing to pump more blood to your muscles in anticipation of having to deal with a threat.
• Faster breathing: as your body tries to supply more oxygen to your muscles.
• Dilated pupils: improved vision to be able to detect and respond to threats
• Sweating: helps to regulate body temperature.
• Release of stress hormones (adrenaline, cortisol): helps to sharpen alertness
• Slowed or impaired digestive functioning: blood flow and energy are diverted away from digestion, and towards the muscles and brain to respond to threat.

Effect on the decision-making: In the short-term, this can result in enhanced quick and reactive decisions.

Sounds great right?

This is useful if you’re having to quickly react to a threat.

However this becomes unhelpful when the threat is how to respond to your partner, a loved one, or to make long-term decisions that might impact your life or livelihood such as career changes or life transitions.

In this situation, sympathetic nervous system activation can impairthoughtful, long-term reasoning if overactive.

Meanwhile, the parasympathetic nervous system activation triggers relaxation and recovery. This is is your body’s natural “off” button. This includes:

• A slower heart rate: promoting calm and energy conservation
  Slower, deeper breathing: supports rest and relaxation
• Increased digestion and nutrient absorption: blood flow is diverted back to the digestive system, allowing for restored energy
• Pupil constriction: supports rest and relaxation
• Release of “calming” neurotransmitters (acetylcholine): reduces stress

Effect on decision making: When the parasympathetic nervous system is activated, we begin to rest and return to thoughtful, reflective, and strategic thinking, creativity, and long-term problem solving.

If you find yourself getting stuck in decision making loops, chances are your nervous system is dysregulated, and might be stuck in the “on” or “off” position. This impairs the ability to use both creative long-term decision making, and reactive short-term responses.

A well-regulated nervous system aids in clear thinking. It allows for better judgment and informed choices. Dysregulation, however, can lead to confusion and irrational decisions.

What Happens When the Nervous System Is Dysregulated?

Dysregulation of the nervous system affects both mind and body. It can lead to anxiety, stress, and confusion. Our natural balance is disrupted, impacting decision-making abilities.

The autonomic nervous system may stay on high alert. This constant state of stress has consequences. It can lead to exhaustion and health issues over time.

Key symptoms of nervous system dysregulation include:

• Increased Anxiety: Overthinking and worry become prevalent.
• Poor Focus: Difficulty concentrating affects everyday tasks.
• Physical Symptoms: Headaches, muscle tension, and fatigue.

Chronic stress activates the sympathetic nervous system excessively. The parasympathetic system, meanwhile, struggles to counterbalance. Such an imbalance can hinder rational thinking.

Eventually, when we’ve been in the “on” position for too long, our bodies shut down, triggering states of depression, low mood, lack of motivation, and a general feeling of malaise. Over time, this can even lead to premature cognitive decline.

Understanding your body’s signals and learning to recognize early signs of being stuck in parasympathetic nervous system activation are crucial for breaking the cycle.

Signs of stress and tension help indicate dysregulation. Learning to identify and respond appropriately can mitigate adverse effects.

Increased awareness of bodily signals aids proactive responses. Tackling dysregulation early minimizes its impact. Embracing techniques that restore balance helps improve overall well-being.

Nervous system dysregulation’s influence on decision-making is significant. Addressing it can yield improved clarity and emotional stability. By doing so, we better prepare ourselves for life’s bigger challenges.

The Science Behind Nervous System Regulation

The nervous system is complex and intricate. Its function involves maintaining balance between stress response and relaxation. This balance is primarily overseen by the autonomic nervous system.

Comprising both the sympathetic and parasympathetic systems, they work together to maintain homeostasis. When the sympathetic system dominates, the body enters “fight or flight” mode. Conversely, the parasympathetic system promotes “rest and digest.”

Effective nervous system regulation means harmonizing these two responses. Here are some fundamental aspects of how it works:

• Neurotransmitters: These chemicals transmit signals in the brain, influencing stress and calmness.
• Vagus Nerve: A crucial player in activating the parasympathetic system for relaxation. Vagus nerve stimulation can have impacts throughout the nervous system, including harmonizing digestive and stress responses, and modulating heart rate variability.
• Polyvagal Theory: Explains how the nervous system perceives safety and threat.

Scientific research supports various techniques aimed at restoring balance. Deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness practice increase vagal tone. This facilitates a shift toward the parasympathetic state.

Stress management supports overall neurological health. By fostering regulation, we enhance resilience. Embracing the science of regulation improves both mental and physical wellness, creating a foundation for thoughtful decisions.

A Clinical Example: Healing Nervous System Dysregulation and High-functioning Anxiety

In my psychotherapy and counselling practice, I use principles of somatic therapy to help clients learn to regulate their nervous system’s natural healing response.

I was contacted by Mileena, a lawyer in a high stress job who was struggling with making career decisions. Her relationships with her partner and children was suffering, she was finding herself more stressed, feeling like she was holding all of her emotions in, only to become easily reactive, and snap at her partner. She wanted to leave her job, but everytime she tried to think about what a future career would look like, she felt stuck, tired, had a foggy brain, and shut down.

“I just don’t get it, I feel like I can never turn off. I’m constantly tired and fatigued, and I want a break, but when I finally get a break I feel like I can’t rest.”

Mileena’s nervous system was stuck in sympathetic activation, or “on”.

As we began to speak through her issues, I brought Mary back to the sensations and feelings happening in her body. As we did so, I taught her how to ground in feelings of safety and regulation, and used eye-movement tools, tapping, and somatic therapies including creating a physical container of safety in the body. Each time, this helped her come back to feeling calm.

Eventually, Mileena began to notice her digestive issues were easing off. She was sleeping more at night, feeling more rested in the day, and becoming less reactive with her partner and children. She was starting to enjoy life more.

One month later, Mileena had found a new job, and reported back thanking me for our work together. These changes start with beginning to understand the way our mind and body operate. Somatic therapy provides a powerful pathway into this understanding.

Somatic Therapy: A Pathway to Nervous System Regulation

Somatic therapy presents a unique, body-centred approach to heal the nervous system. Unlike traditional talk therapies which focus only on cognition and top-down processing, somatic therapy works to process deep trauma and emotional distress by recruiting the mind and body for healing.

Top-Down vs Bottom-Up Processing

Top-down processing starts in the brain—especially the prefrontal cortex—and moves downward to influence thoughts, emotions, and behaviour.

It involves the use of logic and reasoning, meaning-making and interpretation, language and self-talk, planning and impulse control.

Top-down processing works best when the nervous system is regulated (parasympathetic or balanced state). However, when stress is high and your nervous system is dysregulated, top-down processing becomes impaired. In these circumstances, you can feel stuck in your decision making and misaligned with your values. This is where traditional talk therapies and cognitive approaches like cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) have their limitations.

By contrast, somatic therapy engages bottom-up processing by working at the level of bodily sensations and nervous system regulation, then working up to how these processes are shaping your emotions, thoughts, decisions and behaviours.

It involves working with:

• Sensations (tight chest, shallow breath, tension)
• Autonomic nervous system responses
• Emotional reflexes and survival instincts
• Implicit memory and pattern recognition.

When the nervous system is dysregulated, bottom-up signals overpower top-down reasoning. This is why you might “know better” but still react, or feel frozen and indecisive in a moment that requires decision making. This is also why overthinking usually worsens anxiety – because our bodies first need support to feel regulated.

Key techniques in somatic therapy include:

• Body Scanning: Observing sensations without judgment.
• Grounding Exercises: Stabilizing the self through presence in physical space.
• Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tensing and relaxing muscles systematically.

Somatic therapies unlock the body’s natural healing abilities. It supports nervous system regulation by bringing balance to stress responses.

From a place of regulation, we are then able to engage top-down processing and think through our issues to find creative solutions.

How effective is somatic therapy?

In my therapy and counselling work with clients, I find as individuals continue to practice somatic therapy techniques, they often find relief from chronic stress and enhanced emotional well-being. It is common to report:

• Increased self trust and confidence
• Ability to balance relaxing and respond to difficult situations when needed
• Feeling more present in life and in relationships with others
• Enhanced decision making abilities
• Improvement in digestion and sleep

Research continues to affirm the efficacy of somatic therapy. For example, in 2022 cancer patients participants engaged in an online eight‑week Somatic Experiencing® (SE) group intervention. Results showed significant reductions in anxiety, depression, and general distress after the intervention compared with controls, and improvement in coping strategies and body image.

Many people find that somatic therapy complements other therapeutic methods. Its holistic nature provides a comprehensive approach to health. With growing popularity, techniques are tailored to the needs of each person, offering a personal journey toward equilibrium and peace.

By bridging the gap between mind and body, it empowers individuals to take control of their healing.

How Nervous System Regulation Supports Big Decisions

Effective nervous system regulation can profoundly impact decision-making. A well-regulated system allows for improved focus and mental clarity. These qualities are essential when evaluating complex choices. 

When your nervous system is balanced, it enhances emotional regulation. This balance reduces impulsive reactions that can cloud judgment. You gain the ability to pause, reflect, and respond thoughtfully.

The practice of nervous system regulation also fosters a sense of confidence. When you feel grounded and calm, you’re better equipped to weigh options and consider different perspectives. This leads to more informed and thoughtful decisions.

Here are ways nervous system regulation aids decision-making:

• Improved focus: Allows for thorough consideration of choices.
• Emotional stability: Helps manage fear and anxiety when facing big decisions.
• Mental clarity: Provides a clearer understanding of potential outcomes.

Finally, a regulated nervous system enhances resilience to stress, making it easier to handle the pressures of significant decisions. This resilience contributes to a more balanced and deliberate approach, ultimately supporting better outcomes in life’s pivotal moments.

Practical Techniques for Regulating Your Nervous System

Regulating your nervous system involves engaging in simple daily practices. These techniques are often easy to incorporate into your routine.

A good starting point is deep breathing. Focus on inhaling deeply through the nose and exhaling slowly through the mouth. This practice activates the parasympathetic system, calming your body’s stress response. Specific breathing patterns that have been shown to support nervous system include:

• Box breathing: this a structured breathing technique that uses equal-length phases of inhalation, breath hold, exhalation, and breath hold—typically in a 4–4–4–4 pattern. How to practice: Inhale through the nose for 4 seconds. Hold the breath for 4 seconds. Exhale slowly through the nose or mouth for 4 seconds. Hold the breath out for 4 seconds. Repeat for at least 1 minute. If 4 second holds are too long, you can reduce the timing. You can also increase to 6, or even 8 seconds as your lung capacity increases and stress reduces.
• Slow diaphragm breathing: This is one of the most well-supported breathing patterns in nervous system research. Slow breathing increases heart rate variability (HRV), a key marker of nervous system flexibility and resilience. This also directly stimulates the vagus nerve, shifting the body toward parasympathetic dominance. How to practice: Inhale through the nose for 4–5 seconds. Exhale slowly for 5–6 seconds. Be sure to breathe into the belly, not the chest. Placing a hand on your diaphragm or lower abdomen can help support breathing into the belly. Practice for at least 3 minutes.
• Extended exhale: lengthening the exhale is a simple and powerful way to calm the nervous system. Because the parasympathetic nervous system is more active during an exhale, extending the exhale helps to signal safety to the brain by activating the parasympathetic response more dominantly. How to practice: Inhale for 4 seconds. Do not hold the breath, proceed to exhale for 6–8 seconds
• Physiological sigh: A fast-acting technique supported by neuroscience research. Two short inhales followed by a long exhale rapidly reduces carbon dioxide levels and downshifts sympathetic arousal. This method is best for acute panic spikes. How to practice: Inhale through the nose. At the peak of your inhale, take a second short breath inwards to pull more oxygen in. Proceed to do a long, slow exhale through the mouth. This can even include an audible sigh.

Mindfulness meditation is another effective technique. Set aside time each day to sit quietly and observe your thoughts without judgment. This practice fosters clarity and emotional stability. Journalling prior to mindfulness meditation can help clear your thoughts, creating a blank canvas with which to meditate.

Physical grounding exercises can help stabilize your body’s responses. Try standing barefoot on grass or sand, focusing on the sensation beneath your feet. Notice and describe to yourself the texture, temperature, colours, and pressure associated with the sensations. This helps bring you back into the present moment.

Physical activity supports nervous system function. Regular exercise releases endorphins, improving mood and reducing stress. Find an activity you enjoy and stick with it.

Progressive muscle relaxation and visualization techniques can also be helpful tools for shifting the nervous system out of an activated or dysregulated state. Check out the ideal parent protocol for a more detailed approach.

Lastly, remember that nutrition and hydration play a pivotal role. A balanced diet with adequate hydration supports your nervous system’s overall health.

Experiment with different techniques and observe their impact. Each person’s path to regulation is unique. One of the quickest ways to heal your nervous system is working with a licensed mental health practitioner who can help tailor a nervous system regulation plan to your unique needs

For additional techniques, check out my blog post for 5 additional somatic grounding tools.

Finding Somatic Therapy in Toronto and Beyond

Exploring in-person and virtual somatic therapy options in Toronto can be an effective way to jump start your body’s natural healing response.

To find the best somatic therapist for your unique needs, consider these steps:

• Look for a therapist trained in the following somatic approaches: these include training such as somatic experiencing®, applied polyvagal theory, eye-movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR), sensorimotor therapy, and Hakomi method.
• Seek out therapists who offer free consultation calls: nervous system regulation requires having a good fit with a therapist who has an understanding of your unique psychology and how your body is affected by your issues. Find a therapist who offers free consultation calls. They should provide an opportunity for you to explain your concerns, address a course of action, provide their experience and training, and offer an opportunity to ask questions.
• Find therapists who have lived experience that aligns with your needs: somatic therapists with lived experience with trauma, life transitions, and high-functioning anxiety have personal understandings of how to work with nervous system regulation. Therapists with lived experience may be better equipped to understand how to work with your unique physiology.

At Life Transitions Therapy, our clinicians are trained in integrative approaches including somatic therapy, Gestalt therapy, relational therapy, psychodynamic therapy, Internal Family Systems theory, cognitive behavioural therapy, and other trauma-informed approaches. If you’re ready to reorient your life direction and align to your, reach out for a free consult call today.

Conclusion: Building Resilience and Clarity Through Nervous System Regulation

Regulating your nervous system is more than managing stress. It builds resilience, enhances clarity, and improves decision-making skills. By adopting various techniques, you can foster a balanced nervous system.

Integrating practices like somatic therapy creates a foundation for a healthier, more purposeful life. As you hone these skills, you’ll find greater control over your emotions and actions. The journey towards nervous system regulation leads to a more empowered you.

—

Legal disclaimer: This post is intended for informational purposes only, and does not provide medical or therapeutic advice., It is not a substitute for appropriate medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Each individual is unique, so please seek appropriate medical attention before attempting to implement any of the techniques on this site.